Mother's Day was quite difficult for me - in fact, I was a bit taken back by how hard that day was. Mom and I always had a nice morning together on Mother's Day which usually started with me serving Queenie breakfast in bed on one of the trays she loved. We'd sit and have coffee together, surrounded by many dogs greedily eying her toast - she always gave in and treated each to a small piece. Friends would always drop by and sit a spell. We always had great Mother's Days.
And, today, Mom's birthday, is probably about on the same scale of sadness. Today would have been Mom's 96th birthday and, even though I'm heartbroken at the moment, I'm also warmed by thoughts of what Mom and I considered 'a good run.' We had a lot of wonderful days together for which I will be forever grateful. I never thought that I'd become a caregiver nor have a patient so easy to care for. Mom was a gem to all who knew her well.
John and I frequently speak of how lucky we both were to have known Mom. She accepted John with open arms - they had a very mutual respect. She never failed to light up when he came to kiss her hand. And, she once gave him the best comment ever - she said that he reminded her of my Dad. To any who witnessed the love relationship between my folks, this was a compliment on the highest order. Neither John nor I will ever forget that comment.
And, today, Mom has sent me another gift - it's raining. Mom and I loved rain. Instead of seeing inclement weather as a bad thing, we'd hunker down, head to the kitchen to mix up some oatmeal raisin cookies, or just sit and watch her 'Who's the baby daddy' shows. I see the rain as a sign that she's content in another world, hopefully with my Dad, sister, and other family members. I see the rain as a sign that she's still thinking of me.
So, on this rainy day, I'll go visit her grave and place down the red roses she so loved every birthday. John and I will go about our day and toast to her with a glass of her beloved Harvey's Bristol Cream. And, I'll allow myself to be sad even though I'll be surrounded by many friends who love me. And, I'll still miss her.
