Gertie-isms

Ok, so there's two so far today:

1. Mom comes into the kitchen from the bathroom where she's evidently been perusing the recent Cosmopolitan magazine in there. One headline on the magazine is '125 different sexual positions.' (Who knew...). Anyway, she comes into the kitchen and says 'I'm sore.' I immediately roll through scenarios in my mind, has she fallen and not told me? Is her bed to hard? Is her bed too soft? Has a dog tripped/licked/or bitten her? A surreptitious glance shows no swollen ankles, visible bruises, etc. Now, remember, this all happens in my mind in about .00001 second.

So, I replied 'Um...why are you sore?' Her reply kills me 'I tried 120 positions and think I got hurt. I don't think I can make all 125.'

Now, it took me a minute to grasp what she was talking about but then I just fell out. I need to remember to pick up my magazines.

2. So, I'm sitting here and just completed an article for examiner.com about elder abuse. If you're interested, click here:

Elder Care 101: Reporting elder abuse

Anyway, I found a really nice resource, the National Center for Elder Abuse and mentioned to Mom about how great the information is up there. I explained a bit about elder abuse to her and she looks at me and says 'Maybe they should teach us to box.' Ok, I'm done - still laughing!