Friday, February 22, 2013
Nightfall at 'Mansion West' would find Mom, Dad and me pulling chairs up to the front of the porch overlooking the mountains. As dusk fell, we'd turn on the light in the front yard and watch the bats swoop down and catch the moths. The three of us would be on which moth would be the next one to go (Dad was always right - it was the largest, whitest moth....). I lost a lot of money to that man.
Ah, but, after Dad died, I could rarely get to the cabin. It was a bit too remote for me to take Mom alone so we stopped going about a year before she died. In fact, I hadn't stepped foot into it for a full year. I missed it sometimes but I was grateful to just be with Mom.
So, today, another milestone has passed. The cabin has been passed to a couple whom I believe will love it even more than I did. And, I think they'll have many wonderful times up there too. I hope they build the memories like we did.
Here's an article I wrote tonight:
How to say goodbye to a dying loved one.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
I spent most of the day unpacking from the latest excursion to Dominican Republic while planning the next trip for the month of May. Six loads of clothes later and I'm almost repacked and dreaming of the next trip. I'm certainly making up for the time I was Mom's caregiver and couldn't get away for very long! I know she'd be proud of me.
I also managed somehow to get my new Kindle eBook done. The title is "Senior caregiving 101: Things I wish I had known." There's 15 chapters about stuff I mostly figured out on my own, with a little help from my friends, and a whole lot of guidance from my Mom.
Here's the link:
Senior citizen caregiving 101: Things I wish I had known
It's free from the Kindle lending library so, if you have a Kindle, go for it. It was really cathartic to write and a whole lot of fun to finish! Thanks loads to Sharyn for editing it for me and for John being my second reader.
Note: if you do read it, please leave me a comment on Amazon.com. I'd really appreciate the leg up.
Onward and upward....
Friday, February 15, 2013
As I type this, I'm watching the computer clock in the upper right hand corner of my Mac - it just hit 7:11 am on February 15, 2013 - 1 year to the minute from when Mom died. I'm sitting in the living room in the exact spot where she took her last breath, and I feel her presence so strong. It's like a hand on my shoulder, a whisper in my ear. I feel her every single day. Sometimes I laugh at her, sometimes I recount inane conversations we had to pass the time, and, always, I feel the love that she had for life in general and her family in particular.
I've just returned to my own life after 10 days in paradise in the Dominican Republic with the best man on earth - my true soul mate, John. We spent many hours talking about Mom and how lucky John was to have known her. And "know her" he did. They had a connection that spanned the 55 years of age separating them. And, through Mom (and through me), John has a very real idea who Dad was. I'm always surprised when John brings Dad up in conversations - he truly understands who my Dad was. And, although he was sorry to have missed my Dad, John is incredibly grateful to have spent the last 5 years of Mom's life with us. And, boy, I don't know how I would have survived then (or today) without him. Mom gave him the greatest compliment she ever could have one the day she uttered "You remind me of Joe."
So, today, I'll spend some time wallowing in the pits of grief but, as Mom and Dad taught me so well, I'll pull myself up with a little help from my friends, I'll go to the graves and put down some flowers. I'll walk the dogs. I'll chat with friends. I'll get on with it.
And to those of you who have been so instrumental this last year in helping me get on with it, there are truly no words to tell you how much your presence in my life has meant. Thank you.
With much love, Lori (and Gert)