Thursday, July 30, 2009

Out of the mouth of (old) babes...

So, dear Gert and I are sitting here quite early this morning as my 'date' tottled downstairs around 6 am for early coffee. We're in the living room, watching the morning news and on comes an expose about tanning. The piece is documenting how dangerous tanning beds are as they pretty much grill you from the inside out. The newscasters correlate the dangers of tanning with alcoholism, tobacco use, etc.

As the piece finishes up, Mom looks at me and says 'Great. Next they'll tell me to give up sex. I've got one damn thing to have fun with and they'll probably take that too...'

I believe the coffee spurted right out my nose...What a way to start the day.

Here's another Gertie-ism from today:

She's reading the paper and sort of muttering, half to me and half to herself. I start to listen in as some of these 'self' conversations are pretty funny. Newspaper is rattling, she's looking a bit confused over the top of the paper. She comes out with: It's been so long since I've looked at my horoscope that I'm not sure which one I'm in any more.

Scans the paper a bit longer, moves the paper up a bit and says 'I think I moved down a notch...'

Then finally, there's this other one from just today (the woman was on a roll):

I've been riding her a bit about not excusing herself after burping, or, for that matter, any other bodily noise. She's cute as hell - I'll hear her burp in the hallway, say 'excuse me' to no one and crack herself up. Funny. Anyway...

She says to me today 'I have a question. If I'm sitting on the pot and I burp and no one is in the house, do I have to say excuse me?' I laugh and say no. She said 'thank you - I wasted my breath on that one yesterday.'

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