North Carolina weekend

Well, I did it! I ran away last Friday and drove to Wilmington, NC to visit Sharyn for four full days! What a great time was had by all.

The visit was a mix of family and friends (and friend's family...). Big brother Mike was in Florida with his daughter Jennifer so he decided to do a road trip and, 12 hours later, he was at Sharyn's. She happened not to be home when he arrived, so I told him to go into the house and hit the bar - which he did.

Mary probably getting ready to get into trouble - again

Sharyn's sister, Mary, whom I adore, was in town visiting her daughter (Mary) and her family. So, we had a huge, impromptu reunion of sorts. Mary came over Friday evening where we tottled off (with friend Phil who was also in town) to Big Daddy's - a beach bar where Mary's daughter (and my mom's caregiver for this past summer) Kelly worked. Let's just say that we descended in, apparently, droves and had a blast. We gave Kelly a run for her money behind the bar before waddling off to another bar to listen to some music and do what only we could consider 'dancing.' I remember a lot of swaying, but I'm not sure it was intentional....Mary ended up spending the night at Sharyn's - smart move.

Saturday morning found us all walking around the downtown Cape Fear area, perusing the stalls at the local farmer's market - one of the nicest ones I've ever seen. Bought a jar of peanuts steeped in hot pepper juice. There happened to be a hot pepper in there and, I'm not exactly sure whose idea it was but let's just say my mouth was in flames for a good 10 minutes. I tried to express to anyone who would listen to me babble that I wanted my tongue cut out. No takers. Won't do THAT again though...

Saturday night, Sharyn and Mike went over to Kathryn's house for a crab dinner while I stayed behind and wallowed in my own company. It's so very rare that I'm totally alone these days. I know there will come a day when I wish I wasn't alone but, for now, a rare break is so very good for my soul.

Sunday at 3:30 am found brother Mike hitting the road back to Florida. That's a guy who will drive a LONG way for a party! He was only in Wilmington two days - sheesh. I've been ditched by better...

So, Sunday, Sharyn and I loaded up the car with every modern convenience needed for a trip to the beach and set up shop right on the shore. Mary and Kathryn came to meet us and that's where the wrong turn happened. We'll just leave it at this - I've been thrown out of better places than the Oceanic pier. It could have been Sharyn giving me the finger for this picture, or perhaps it was Kathryn knocking over a full margarita, or maybe it was Mary being, well Mary (did you note, dear readers, that I was excluded from being a troublemaker? That's because I was the angel of the group, and tried my hardest to keep the other three under control. Alas, to no avail. We were cut off. Sucked.


Sunday night found Kelly coming over to Sharyn's house to visit. We sent her off to bring back food from Indochine (a fabulous Thai restaurant in Wilmington) and we settled in for some sofa sitting. When Kelly was 2, she climbed atop my convertible celica and had her picture taken - as I recall, she demanded that we take the picture. So, we put her back on a convertible (the mercedes this time) 19 years later and took some pics.

Monday morning found me and Gizmo winding our way back home. Great top down weather and some wonderful memories from the weekend. It's so good to have great friends.

The start of the trouble at the Oceanic Pier

I'm not sure what she was doing but it was going to get us in trouble...

Might have been after some ice was dropped on those below us...

Shortly before we were cut off

Sharyn's response to the waiter - this sealed our fate

Kathryn's still clinging to the last sip....

Great day with Mom and friends

Had a wonderful day yesterday as Robin came by to drop off a sweater and ended up staying most of the day. We had a blast! Had to, of course, introduce her to the locals at La Mex where we ended up staying for hours. John came up with us for just a bit and then generously offered to go home to Gert-sit so we could stay out. Jeff took over that duty in the afternoon so John went down to the boat for a pool party at the marina.

Ladies day out continued with Bobbi meeting Robin and me at LM.

All in all, a great time was had.

Oh, too, mom reports that her knee is feeling a bit better. I can see a different in her walking speed - we've graduated from snail to turtle...

Another outing with Gert and Carina!

I took Mom to a pain specialist yesterday to see if there was anything we could do to help her with her walking - her left knee is literally bone on bone. This is the result of standing on the cement floor at Town Hall for years upon years as she worked behind the counter. There were no ergonomics in 1958....

So, she ended up getting 4 shots in the knee which was not nearly as painful to watch as it was for her. I now understand mothers who cry when their baby gets an immunization. It almost killed me to be there, but I couldn't leave her alone. I still have marks in my hand from where she squeezed. Anyway, the injections consist of a steroid that is supposed to relieve the swelling and pain for up to 4 weeks. We'll see. We also got a new cream to try on her knee 4 times a day. I'm hoping something helps her as the poor thing barely tottles these days. She walks like a duck....

After our visit to the doctor, Gert was ready for a bourbon so off we went to the local hole in the wall, La Mex where Carina and I (and a host of the locals) propped her up on the barstool. She loves the freshly made salsa and chips and I meted out just 5 chips as was cautious of the salt. La Mex makes the things right there and doesn't add salt to the outside so we'll see what condition she's in this morning when she awakes. She downed those chips and snuck a few others before I moved the basket away. An hour later, I dropped Carina and Mom back off (thank you God for caregivers) and returned to my same seat, next to Miss Lowe and surrounded by the other locals. Had a lot of fun before heading home to my Mama.

Carina and I made up this recipe for a delicious low sodium chicken pot pie. Click HERE to see the recipe. Please leave me comments on the recipe page as that raises it up in rank and means more cash!

All in all, a successful day. 

Carina, Carina, Carina

What a joy it is to find someone like Carina to help with caregiving of Mom. Yesterday, Carina gave Mom a manicure AND a pedicure - who's the lucky one? Mom loves these treatments! Carina is trying to get me to rub stuff into Mom's feet every day but, hey, that's above and beyond my duties. I leave that to Carina for the 5 days a week she's here.

She's also a master at doing hair as can be seen from my great hairdo in the photo. And, although she runs behind me and puts my stuff away in places I'd never think of (like, um...the closet....), she's still a keeper. Love her dearly.

Mom's demeanor today is much different than yesterday - she's back 'on', at least for a bit. Before I put her to bed last night, I told her:

"You're not to get up until it's light out."

I know from experience that the best way to get something to sink into her brain is for her to repeat it, so, I asked her to do just that.

Her reply: 'You're not to get up until it's light out.' Slight problem.

So, I said, 'No, YOU'RE not to get up until it's light out.'

My red, white and true blue dessert shooter

She looks at me and says 'No, YOU'RE not to get up until it's light out' and then she cracked herownself right the hell up. She laughed and laughed at that. Sick little sense of humor the woman has....Good thing she's cute!

I'm starting a website to spotlight my dessert shooter articles. It will be up (one day in the near future) and will be DessertShooters.com. I spent all day yesterday at the library working on the thing and, alas, didn't get so far.  John will help me this weekend. But, Carina and Mom have really enjoyed the fruits (or desserts...ha ha) of my labor. The pics below prove it!

Mom is a dessert shooter fan

Hot fudge sundae dessert shooter

Maybe I can put some weight on the poor child....

On being played by a 94 year old...

So, as predicted, Mom woke up a 4:05am confused. I put her back to bed and patiently (?) explained that she couldn't get up when it was still dark out. Clapped my hands together, that was that, went back to bed.

45 minutes later, my rolling thunder is rolling again. Shoot. So, this time, I wasn't quite as patient (?) and went to see why she was up AGAIN. I reiterated that it was still dark out, it wasn't time to get up yet!

She looks at me and says "I need something to eat. I'm getting sick to my stomach." Shoot. Damn. Alright...

So, by the time she'd come downstairs and was rolling into the kitchen, I'd thought this through.

I said: "Since you're getting sick to your stomach, I'm not sure coffee will be so good for you."

I wish I'd had the camera to capture the look on her face. It was a bit of astonishment, a bit of "uh oh, this ploy backfired," and a bit of "what the hell do I do NOW?!"

I just laughed and gave her the cup of coffee and toast.

Being played by a 94 year old can be kind of amusing.

June 15, 1941

June 15, 2011 would be my folk's 70th anniversary if Dad was still living; he died 65.5 years into their love relationship. But, to me, it's still their 70th anniversary today. In 2021, it would have been their 80th, etc. June 15th will always be a magical day for me as it was a magical day for them.

Mom woke up fairly chipper today so we took the opportunity to hit the road! Mom, Carina, and I had a wonderful day shopping down at Tyson's Corner. We went looking for some new gowns and robes for Mom, but couldn't find the robes we needed so left empty handed. But, we did what any good shoppers would do - we had lunch!

Carina and I settled Mom into Legal Seafoods where I quizzed the chef about the sodium content of the gazpacho (are you listening Linda?!). When he couldn't come up with any hard fast numbers, I did the next logical thing and called John to check from his computer. 5 minutes later, and we still didn't have the answer so I did the next logical thing - I gave Mom the gazpacho. 


There are some times when it's just worth it to take the risk. Mom loves gazpacho so I just told her that she had to drink more water when we got home (she didn't) but, all in all, the time out of the house with Mom is worth what the setback will be tomorrow - she'll probably wake up tomorrow confused, get a bit centered around 11 am and then drift back off. And, Carina and I will be there to catch her and center her back as much as we can.


This aging stuff is for the birds. It's a tough road to follow and even tougher to try and lead. I want so much for Mom to be comfortable and happy and, gosh, I hope she is. She is my treasure and will always be. I'm so lucky to have had the parents that I did; so few are as lucky.

I've rarely had a chance to really miss my Dad as I "married" Mom the day after Dad died. But there are times when I still feel him around me. I particularly feel him sometimes when I look in John's eyes and see the kindness there. John looks at me with the same love and respect that my Dad had for my Mom.

Could I possibly be any luckier? I know that John and I don't have anywhere near the longevity that Mom and Dad had but, then again, I know my Dad would approve...as does my Mom...I have no doubts of that...

It's up and down. Up and down.

I never quite know what state I'll find Mom in from moment to moment. This morning, she's about 65% there which is a vast improvement over the last 7 days when she was really not here much at all. Unfortunately, one of the side effects of aging is that these things happen. And, almost more unfortunately, it's difficult to make any plans at all as her mental faculties may wane from moment to moment; just because she's mostly 'here' right now doesn't mean that she'll be the same in an hour.

Mike called last night and happened to get her at exactly the right moment. She was just "Mom" again. There's a wild fire in Arizona and she was concerned to make sure that his family (in Tucson) was well. She put those thoughts together herself which clued me into the fact that she was on the way back, if only for a while.

I took the occasion to share a glass of Harvey's Bristol Cream Sherry with her. We clinked glasses, toasted to the future, and had a nice chat. Those moments are becoming increasingly special.

She's adapting (and even liking) her new bed. I love that she can get in and out of this bed on her own as I have it set to a low height. I've been sleeping in the guest room the last two nights to check on her so I'm lacking in my own mental faculties at the moment. Exhausted.

I'm in the process of setting up my own website. It will be DessertShooters.com. I've already registered the name and now just have to figure out how to create the sucker. Should be interesting.

Carina and I spent about 10 minutes yesterday coming up with 2 new dessert shooters. Here's the article about the 4th of July Dessert Shooter - please leave me comments if you read it as that helps the article move up the ranks. Mom was the proud recipient of this particular treasure and ate every single drop. We also made a hot fudge sundae dessert shooter - Carina's first ever hot fudge sundae! She was amazed. That recipe will be coming.

While I'm at it, I updated a few lenses so give them a looksie (and a comment!) too:

Dessert Shooters - the new mini dessert craze
Dessert Shooter Custard Recipe

The pictures are of my gorgeous very significant other with his new car! Yes, we're "sportin'" again! Other pic is me at Angler's Inn on my 53rd birthday. Sporting a gorgeous new emerald necklace. I'm so very lucky...in so very many ways...